In the quiet town of Berlin, a German businessman went about his work in his peaceful office. Then as many businessmen do, he had a sudden urge to taste the delicacy of a hamburger. So, he saved his work, checked out via the receptionist, and off he went.

The delightful ting of a golden bell alerted the shopkeeper of the new arrival to his shop, beckoning him to once again serve yet another ravenous customer.

‘What’s it gon’ be?’ yelled the rather round, red-faced man, seated on a high stool behind the counter. For a slight moment, the customer thought, scrunched his wrinkled face, ogled the blob of a man behind the counter and announced his choice, “The Special.”

The shopkeeper beamed and reached for ‘The Special,’ but hesitated a moment and made a hideous face before stuffing the hamburger into a bag and watched his content customer leave his store, with a ting.

The now ecstatic man bounded with burger in hand and sank into a wooden bench, where he slowly unwrapped his hamburger. It was perfect beyond imagination. The bread was a pearly white with a soft spongy spring to it. The tomatoes, lettuce, herbs and ham were immaculate and as he turned it in his hands, mouth ajar, he stared in admiration for… God knows how long.

With the initial shock subsiding, he slowly moved it up to his open, eager mouth. But just as he was about to bit, an invisible force thrust his meal from his hands and into a woman’s pram.

“Nein, Meine Hamburger!” the shocked man screamed as he pursued his hamburger. He weaved in and out of crowds, dodging people from left and right, ignoring protests from short to tall people and eventually approaching the pram. He looked inside to find a sleepless baby with a beautiful hamburger in his hands.

“At last, meine hamburger,” he breathed. But alas, his hamburger once again leapt off and evaded his reaching hands. This was serious now. So, he reported the incident to the authorities while tracing the hamburger’s footsteps. When chasing a runaway hamburger, extra help would come in handy.

By the time the police arrived, the hamburger and its very hungry pursuer had circled the town and returned to the park – the scene of escape. The police surrounded the hamburger immediately leaving nowhere to run to. So, up it went. It jumped high into the air and landed on a hot air balloon.

By now the businessman was angry… no. He was furious. No way on earth would he let his lunch run away from him. He propelled himself into the air after his lunch and just managed to reach the hot air balloon.

“At last, Meine hamburger,” he panted through clenched teeth. But alas, his hamburger wasn’t going to give up so easily. It skydived from the basket and landed on a strangely enormous bird. This was double-serious now. The very very very seriously aggravated man alerted the Air Force. The Air Force was soon hot on the hamburger’s heels as they followed the would-be feast, as the police followed on foot.

The bird soon landed into a nest of newly hatched chicks. Careful not the harm the chicks, the now extremely-famished-but-very-environmentally-friendly man bent over the nest and smirked smugly at the hamburger. “AT LAST, meine hamburger,” he hissed. But alas, the hamburger leapt once more.

The angry German man once again flipped his phone open and dialled for the reliable FBI, but as soon as his call connected, in front of his very eyes, he watched his hamburger being swallowed whole by the very enormous and, might I say, hideous bird.

“Nein, Meine Hamburger.”

The businessman yelled in agony and grief for the loss of his perfect lunch. He shook his fists at the God who had forsaken him. Any God, every God for not allowing him to taste heaven. Downtrodden and defeated, he trudged back to his office and continued his work.

The next day, the broken businessman sunk into his swanky, black-leather chair and opened his newspaper. Word of his unfortunate ordeal had escaped and was splashed across the pages. He sighed and suddenly the urge to taste the delicacy of an exotic meal surfaced.

And so he set off once more, clicking his heels together as he skipped towards McDonalds, the shop which would provide him with French Fries and Coke.

The satisfied man sat at the swivel chairs and the tables nailed to the ground, and opened his paper bag. A puff of steam escaped into the icy cold atmosphere of the morning, and along with it a pack of French Fries and a fizzed Coke.

The End.

Labels: ny 8D