i was going to upload the hilarious photos from T2.5 my now most favouritest room but I'm officially capped.

SO, you'll just have to wait :)

Labels: ny 8D

HAHA, I was spring cleaning my desk and found this story I wrote in year 7. It's very bad, grammatically but I found it very amusing. What's even more amusing is I can't remember ever writing it. Oh well. I assume it was after we read that funnyass German comic that came with that funnyER tape ;D

Anyways, here is NEIN, MEINE HAMBURGER! :)

In the quiet town of Berlin, a German businessman went about his work in his peaceful office. Then as many businessmen do, he had a sudden urge to taste the delicacy of a hamburger. So, he saved his work, checked out via the receptionist, and off he went.

The delightful ting of a golden bell alerted the shopkeeper of the new arrival to his shop, beckoning him to once again serve yet another ravenous customer.

‘What’s it gon’ be?’ yelled the rather round, red-faced man, seated on a high stool behind the counter. For a slight moment, the customer thought, scrunched his wrinkled face, ogled the blob of a man behind the counter and announced his choice, “The Special.”

The shopkeeper beamed and reached for ‘The Special,’ but hesitated a moment and made a hideous face before stuffing the hamburger into a bag and watched his content customer leave his store, with a ting.

The now ecstatic man bounded with burger in hand and sank into a wooden bench, where he slowly unwrapped his hamburger. It was perfect beyond imagination. The bread was a pearly white with a soft spongy spring to it. The tomatoes, lettuce, herbs and ham were immaculate and as he turned it in his hands, mouth ajar, he stared in admiration for… God knows how long.

With the initial shock subsiding, he slowly moved it up to his open, eager mouth. But just as he was about to bit, an invisible force thrust his meal from his hands and into a woman’s pram.

“Nein, Meine Hamburger!” the shocked man screamed as he pursued his hamburger. He weaved in and out of crowds, dodging people from left and right, ignoring protests from short to tall people and eventually approaching the pram. He looked inside to find a sleepless baby with a beautiful hamburger in his hands.

“At last, meine hamburger,” he breathed. But alas, his hamburger once again leapt off and evaded his reaching hands. This was serious now. So, he reported the incident to the authorities while tracing the hamburger’s footsteps. When chasing a runaway hamburger, extra help would come in handy.

By the time the police arrived, the hamburger and its very hungry pursuer had circled the town and returned to the park – the scene of escape. The police surrounded the hamburger immediately leaving nowhere to run to. So, up it went. It jumped high into the air and landed on a hot air balloon.

By now the businessman was angry… no. He was furious. No way on earth would he let his lunch run away from him. He propelled himself into the air after his lunch and just managed to reach the hot air balloon.

“At last, Meine hamburger,” he panted through clenched teeth. But alas, his hamburger wasn’t going to give up so easily. It skydived from the basket and landed on a strangely enormous bird. This was double-serious now. The very very very seriously aggravated man alerted the Air Force. The Air Force was soon hot on the hamburger’s heels as they followed the would-be feast, as the police followed on foot.

The bird soon landed into a nest of newly hatched chicks. Careful not the harm the chicks, the now extremely-famished-but-very-environmentally-friendly man bent over the nest and smirked smugly at the hamburger. “AT LAST, meine hamburger,” he hissed. But alas, the hamburger leapt once more.

The angry German man once again flipped his phone open and dialled for the reliable FBI, but as soon as his call connected, in front of his very eyes, he watched his hamburger being swallowed whole by the very enormous and, might I say, hideous bird.

“Nein, Meine Hamburger.”

The businessman yelled in agony and grief for the loss of his perfect lunch. He shook his fists at the God who had forsaken him. Any God, every God for not allowing him to taste heaven. Downtrodden and defeated, he trudged back to his office and continued his work.

The next day, the broken businessman sunk into his swanky, black-leather chair and opened his newspaper. Word of his unfortunate ordeal had escaped and was splashed across the pages. He sighed and suddenly the urge to taste the delicacy of an exotic meal surfaced.

And so he set off once more, clicking his heels together as he skipped towards McDonalds, the shop which would provide him with French Fries and Coke.

The satisfied man sat at the swivel chairs and the tables nailed to the ground, and opened his paper bag. A puff of steam escaped into the icy cold atmosphere of the morning, and along with it a pack of French Fries and a fizzed Coke.

The End.

Labels: ny 8D

today i had to go school early for KO soccer tryouts and when i lefty the house there were all these clouds and so it was really dark and ominous and eerie D: so i thought i accidently left an hour early but nevertheless i journeyed onwards and when i reached the station, i discovered that i was in fact on TIME D:

once in the afternoon when we at granville station, apparently neil got... touched ;D some random grabbed him round the neck and he thought it was a friend but it turned out to be an ENEMY D: and he was about to unleash kungfu fury upon this hapless victim but the guy let go D:

in PE today we danced and pranced and waltzed and salsad ;D sounds like a salad. sanji is very good at dancing DESPITE being cruelly struck down with severe shoulder-itis D:

for some reason, my mum always calls me when i'm right outside my house coming home. like today she called me to see if i wanted my dad to pick me up from the station cause it was storming but i was already home D: and last time she called if i was gonna get home soon, and i was like "yeah in 30 seconds" ;D

oh wow, my eye socket still hurts from someone with an abnormally bony elbow/weinus elbowing/weinusing me in the face at basketball D:

Labels: clay (:

on the bus today some guy had a how i met your mother bro code book ;D

i was reading it from behind but all i can remember is

'Even in drought, bros always flush twice.'


another guy on the bus had the pokemon song as a ringtone.

and apparently neil got assaulted but his uber intimidating skills stopped the dude from assaulting him or something. pity, it would've been good if he like kungfued the dude's ass :D

dictionary.com has had a makeover too D:

how surprising. YAY ENGLISH ESSAY DONE :D

For the end of innocence, the darkness of man's heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called Piggy

How bleak William Golding.

Labels: ny 8D

During the holidays i was VERY VERY bored so I decided to have a head start with my english major which I soon found out we didn't actually have. Which is kind of sad because I like english major because it's the only thing I can do :(

Anyways I asked Clayfatty for a few things that need to be included and thus the birth of the Giraffe Plumber's Long Day.

Object in story: basketball
Simile that must be used: as large as a pumpkin
Random retard word that must be used: vocation
Title of story: Giraffe Plumber's long day
Genre: Comedy

Must include at least 3 characters with one of them saying "Holy smokes, nice chimney!"

Giraffe Plumber’s Long Day

Giraffe Plumber was not essentially a happy man, nor was he an unhappy man. But something deep deep inside of him was constantly astir, restricting him to be merely - a content man. Instead he was an unsure man. Unsure of who or what, how or when. Who or What was constantly disturbing his could-be content life, how it was disturbing him and since when? Neither was he aware of the long day ahead of him that would surely ensure the answers to his unanswered question.

Now unlike Giraffe Plumber’s name may suggest, Giraffe Plumber was not a plumber at all. In fact he disliked plumbers, despised plumbers to a certain extent. He felt that no plumber could possibly live up to the grand name as well as he had all his life. A plumber he was not, however a very very rich man he was.

Being wealthy meant that Giraffe Plumber had no need for any certain vocation. Instead he reduced his life to pleasant meetings and greetings with his many acquaintances. Every Sunday morning at 10:53am Giraffe Plumber’s luxuriously far-reaching gold plated gates were wrenched open, allowing his many friends to enter his grand home. Seeing as it was a Sunday on this very long day and no reason for this not to occur, the entrance to his manor was opened. So, Giraffe Plumber pleasantly sipped on his freshly squeezed orange juice as he watched vehicle after vehicle find their way to the front door.

Steadily, Giraffe Plumber glided down step after step and reached his front door. He paused for a moment, and then dramatically thrust open his front doors.

“Holy Smokes, Nice Chimney, how fare thee today?” he smirked at his two beloved friends. For a moment, Giraffe Plumber’s nagging sensation of emptiness disappeared as he eyed the two beaming men. Not once was there a dull moment with the two. He stepped aside as every man, woman and child entered his home, plopped down on their reserved seats and chattered whilst the maids and cooks scurried around preparing and serving the fresh feast.

A couple of minutes on, scrambled eggs, grilled tomatoes, crispy bacon and two slices of toast accompanied by a large glass of milk lay in front of each and every one of them, daring them to take a bite, but they all knew they had to wait for Giraffe Plumber to announce the feast’s commencement first. Which he did after a few insufferable seconds. Instantaneously, knives hit plates and the grinding of teeth began.

His gaze wandered from plate to plate, which were noticeably identical even from the few scraps of debris remaining. Finally, his gaze came to a halt at his own plate. His eggs were not scrambled, nor were his tomatoes grilled, his bacon was far from crispy and he had no toast and the idea of milk just horrified him. Moreover, Giraffe Plumber hated scrambled eggs, grilled tomatoes, crispy bacon, toast and milk. Even though he’d never tried them, he was adamant that not one flavour would appeal to his taste buds at all. Yet, he found himself yearning for the meal he’d never tasted and held his breath as he waved over a maid and informed her of his newfound menu choice.

Everyone watched aghast as the plate passed their heads as though their eyes had never seen something so surprising, all the while the exact same brunch sat in their satisfied stomachs. Giraffe Plumber smiled to himself, proud of his decision for change and slightly amused at the sight of dozens of mouths dangling ajar. He lifted his knife and fork and cautiously brought the eggs to his mouth. The soft fluffy texture illuminated his eyes and soon the plate was licked clean after having its contents devoured.

Conversation buzzed as the tables were cleared and Giraffe Plumber found himself listening to a story about Holy Smokes’ wife. Once upon a time, he would’ve been enthralled with the quirkiness of Smokes’ stories but today’s wife-story seemed so… monotonous. Usually the next few hours would be burned up, listening to stories such as this but today was strangely different. He scanned the room and found himself wandering towards a young girl sitting alone with a befuddled look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” he queried. The girl merely frowned and stared up at him with dark blue eyes. Then, as though someone had called her name, she jerked her head to the side and scurried out of the room.

Forgetting Holy Smokes’s tale, Giraffe Plumber curiously trailed her all the way towards his backyard. Suddenly, a basketball sped towards his head, colliding with a resounding thump. The basketball bounced away, leaving a lump as large as a pumpkin sitting on top of Giraffe Plumber’s head. Waving away the stars, he picked up the ball and shot it into the basket that sat a few metres away. He cursed as he remembered that Sunday was not his basketball day, Friday was. After scolding himself, he began to trudge towards his house when he was halted by the deep voice of a very very tall man.

“Oi, dude why don’t ya hang with us?” The man’s voice reverberated inside Giraffe Plumber’s head as he regained his bearings.

‘Hell, why not?’ Giraffe Plumber muttered to himself as he walked towards the court. The next few hours of sweating, running and jumping, would never be forgotten.

Soon, the day came to an end. The rooms, gardens and basketball court were deserted and the servants were sent home. With the guests gone, lights off and all alone, it was Giraffe Plumber’s bedtime. The strange alterations of this long day, that he had encountered through impulse and the thrill that accompanied it, sent a rush through his body. The simple rush sent goose bumps through his whole body and thoughts of the scheduled bedtime were deserted. Instead he vacated his living room of furniture, laid down a few blankets and piled on pillow after pillow.

Hour after hour he watched movie after movie. Movies he’d never seen before, movies he’d never heard of before and movies that never seemed to appeal to him. Midnight passed and morning was fast arriving. Giraffe Plumber’s eyelids slowly curtained his eyes and his mind emptied, completely rid of thoughts of unanswered questions or unsureness that had flooded him the morning before.

Engulfed by his many crinkled blankets and feathery pillows - Giraffe Plumber was not essentially a happy man, nor was he an unhappy man. But he was merely a content man, and a very rich one at that.

Labels: ny 8D

So, as I said, we went out to eat. We didn't want to go far so we went to Cumberland Golf Club RSL Club.

The food was so good. and BIG. Everything was massive. Massive chicken schnitzel or however you spell it, massive long chips, massive gravy bowl, massive prawns in the chow mein or whatever you call it. Except there was no broccoli in the chef's salad and I said it out loud by accident and my mum said matter of factly that it was due to the soaring prices of broccoli possibly due to the fires and recession.

Throughout the dinner everyone was high with their sunkist and beer and we were one of the two families there. Make it three. There was this old man sitting and eating dinner alone. Apparenlty he practically lives there. My sister asked my dad if he'll be like that in 10years time and he said not to worry at all 'OF COURSE I WILL.'

My sister's rump/butt steak was burnt because she wanted it well done because when she asked my dad what medium was like he said it's cooked but has blood and she said 'EW BLOOD' so she got in well done. It came back black and I thought it was either the lighting or that the barbeque sauce made it black but that wasn't it. So my dad complained ;D and we got it for FREE or as the waitress said 'Would you like me to remove it from your bill?'

My dad is extremely lame, predictable and repeats your jokes. Here are a few examples. Note he's the bolded one:

"You have such a big mouth Girlbert"
"Yeah what are you black?"
-Mum laughs. Laughter dies-
"HAHA YEAH ARE YOU LIKE TIGER WOODS?"
-looks around proudly-

or

-Cracking up for no reason-
"You guys are nuts" <--- I know what the hell. "I bet he'll say we're peanuts" "You should call yourselves Peanuts. Peanut 1,2,3 and 4"

and there was something else which I can't remember but eh.

Anyways we payed $55 apparently. We got 15 off from the burnt beef and my dad had a $20 voucher which he proudly won from a golf tournament. Yeah he's golf obsessed.

My little sister is apparently pretty good at golf. I know very surprising. Apparently her group or something won a tournament and so they get a free camp and she's going for two days and one night to enhance her golfing skills.

Anyways, after comparing beer guts we came home and now it's time to watch Rove which my dad is convinced is M. But GUESS WHO'S 15 :D

I hi fived my sister for that very reason and then stated that Rove is probably on PG which is 13+ and hi fived my brother AND sister but apparenlty my brother's only 12. So I had to low five him. Which is kind of sad, because he's like 3 years younger than me and already taller :(

Labels: ny 8D

Hello.

Just came back from tutoring and the last half hour was very eventful.

I learnt that Liz's dad tried to save electricity by turning off her computer but his super strength broke the spring or whatever for the button so now Liz can't turn on her computer, meaning she can't read this. HAHA SUCKS TO BE YOU :P

Also, in the last FIVE SECONDS of tutoring, my stupid paser was squeaking so I was pressing slightly harder to stop the squeaking and that caused my lead to snap. And it snapped and flicked into my eye also known as slits, which stung like CRAP. I took it out afterwards but my eye still hurts :(
I told my sister who laughed at me and said I had 'good aiming.' More like crappy aiming D:<

Tonight I'm going out for dinner. YAY! and my brother was calling the people to book a table because us being a rather fat family we need to book beforehand. ANYWAYS, he was talking and had a testipop, being in his adolescent years ;D

SO it went something like this.
"Can we please reserve a table for 7pm for six peepoOOOLL." hehe

Was listening to that song with Michael Jackson.

#I'm walking on sunshine WOOOOOOOOAAAAAHOOOH#

it's made me all high. But it reminded me of another michael jackson song. Billie Jean.

It goes something like this

#Billie jean is not my lover
Shes just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son#

Yeah, well on the line, the kid is not my son, my brother and I would usually sing something random. I think my brother sang 'but the CHIIIID is not my song' which is totally off. At least mine was synonymous to it. I used to sing 'CHIIILLLD is not my son' after I used to think it was 'JAAANET's not my son' but I realised Janet is a girl's name so I changed it.

Anywho, TIME TO PLAY PUZZLE GAMES :)

nyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :P

For those who don't know, I went back to my own old preschool Jolly Frog for work experience. I was so excited on day one that i couldn't sleep properly which is both sad and very surprising because usually i can easily sleep for 12+ hours. I think it's unhealthy but screw that.

I woke up SUPERLY DUPERLY early this week. Six frigging thirty. Which for some hobos who live in holes like livo may think late, but for people like me who wake up a good hour later on normal days, i believe it to be EXTREMELY early.

So I left the house at like 7:25 even though my bus leaves at like 7:50, because i'm paranoid like that, and I always like going to places at least 10 minutes early. Anywhom, that's okay because I soon realised that the big road I planned to cross was uncrossable due to the many massive trucks that drove by. Thus, I had to walk AROUND which like quadruplified the time taken to walk. BUT, being the strong person I was I managed to catch the bus. God that's so lame ;D

You know those people that sit in the bus and stare at you? Yeah well I'm one of those people. Except I don't stare, I observe thank you very much :)

Yeah over the week there was always the students from Greystanes High which were all skips. There was like this angelina jolie wannabe girl that always sat with her lips in a pout. I'd think you'd bet tired after a while but she usually kept it up for the whole bus trip. At first I thought maybe that's how she just looks like but I caught her UNpouted D: and yeah. I found myself self consciously trying it out and it IS very very tiring.

There was also this girl who came on the bus with her brother. On the second day or something she was leaning against a seat instead of sitting on it for some reason even after her wise wise brother told her to sit. And it rained that day and the floor was wet, so when the bus turned left she just slowly slid down the seat like a slide and it was SO funny ;D At that time I was on the phone with Clay and I wanted to tell her but I was scared I'd get gangbashed or something.

On the bus there were also those random old people, just people who want to go to parra and those business people. On my first day on the bus, I almost missed my stop and had an inner spaz and accidentally slapped a business lady type person and kicked her stuff over. Ever since whenever she saw me 'observing' her she looked MIGHTY pissed ;D

Anyways, my bus driver was a pleasant man always saying thankyou whenever I got off of the bus, so naturally I said thank you back :)

Once off the bus I walked to Jolly Frog. I always passed this building site and there was always men. Old men. Who were topless and it was very .. unsightly. ANYWAYS, to avoid that unsightly sight, I walked in the middle of the road because the other side was grassy and dewy and i didn't want to get wet. Anyways today, Friday, I was texting and wasn't watching where I was going and almost walked into a car that wasn't moving ;D

Once AT the actual place, I met Louise and Voula my new 'coworkers.' And being the paranoid person I was, I was at least a good 20 minutes early, so whilst waiting for the children, I looked through the scrapbooks, where I found photos of my sisters, brother, family friends and myself in the yearly photo things ;D
I was such a girly girl with pigtails and an innocent smile. Not that that hasn't changed.

Anyways I was soon introduced to the kids and had to learn their names and whatnot. Soon I learnt their personalities too.

Overall, I really liked work experience but sometimes the kids got really bitchy towards each other. And not just glaring bitchy but ATTACKING bitchy D:

For example, they would sneakily steal one anothers toys when they think no one was watching, but like I said, I'm an observing person. When the kid cries, they blame it on some random innocent kid. There was also this girl who went around throwing sand into other kids eyes. And this other girl who stabbed others with sticks ;D

But their cuteness made up for it.

HOLY CRAP this blog is long :)
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Okay, at 10:15 every morning or so, it would be pack up time and we'd then have morning tea which is where the kids just sit at the tables with a plate in front of them and we'd serve them fruit. Which is kind of unfair because I remember that when I went to preschool I had to get my OWN fruit from this massive tray that they put the fruit in picture shapes for us D:<

ny :)

Labels: work expeeeerience update

today i went shopping for work clothes :D which i got for BARGAIN prices at targé (:
then I went home and watched 15 eps of himym :D WHILST polishing my cadet boots

when I was walking to westfields from chinese school, there was this lone tree in a empty parking lot next to this apartment block. and i was thinking "OMGSH that would be a GREAT PHOTO !" just look at the way it contrasts to the grey grid wall behind it and how the shadow of the tree falls on this blank canvas.." i've been looking at too many pixdaus photos/doing too much VA haha right (:

and you know i haven't fallen over in a while D: i guess i'm just too well balanced now :P
D: AND i've been doing too much science. I was eating fake pho for dinner and I added table salt so I read the ingredients and it was like "potassium iodide" and potassium is K+ and iodine is I- which balances D: and i was also thinking salt is sodium chloride (: i'm so knowledgeable

Rant 1: ARGH and i'm frickin angry how I just can't talk anymore. like when you try to think of something to talk bout, my mind just blanks and it awkward silences D:< you're not even supposed to THINK about talking
Rant 2: i'm so sleepy ):<
HAHAH i just accidently typed this face --> o:

zzzzomgzh i had a WACKY dream last last night that sims 3 came out and I got a few boxes shipped over and it arrived when i was in a wheely chair just drifting around at a partay ;D I also remember there was lots of fire and i think someone/lots of people were trying to kill me (:

Labels: fall, scooters, vacation

today, in IPT we played Spoons. no we did not spoon each other, the card game (:

i've been trying to play guitar the past few days but i suck :(
haha, on the radio there's this ad that goes all crazy like, "BRAS BRAS BRAS, 350971% OFF, HURRY NOW SALE ENDS AT MIDNIGHT" totally ruins the mood
i've been waking up early for the past week cause of all these morning things to go to and so now i'm like a zombie:
hehe (:
my brother started uni yesterday D:
you know there's some weird pomegranate juice or something called POM except the "O" is a heart shape and it has a cool shaped bottle. like how fanta bottles are supposed to be the perfect girl's body shape. well this POM bottle is the VOLUPTIOUS version (:

Labels: voluptious zombie