Upon awakening super superly early, compared to my usual waking upness at 1pm, we had chicken corn soup for breakfast (:
While stuffing our faces my dad kept switching the channels uncovering Winnie the Pooh bear. There was a NEW character. Instead of Christopher Robin there was some girl and my dad pointed at the TV and accused Pooh of being a quote 'betrayer' end quote.
As we were to be gone for the next six days we decided to drop my dog off at a friend's place. For once, my dog was white and fluffy rather than brown and leafy, but MY GOD his breath stinked like CRAP. On the way to Abe (the friend)'s house we passed a suburb called Putney ;D, listened to my brother's 'gangsta' 1TYM (<---fob Korean people that sound gay when rapping in Mrs Chan English) music and learned that the wrinkly skin flaps on your elbows are called weinus.
My dog kept jumping up and down and around the car and at one point I almost pushed him out onto the freeway D:
His long girl pansy nails dug into my silky knees and made them red. I can still see my battle wounds from that trip. Abe's house was near Linfield station in Killara or something. and it was a FRIGGIN' nice ass house.
Went to Macca's on the way from Putney to Linfield to Salamander Bay and saw heaps of Asian tourists.
At Horizons (some golf club holiday cabin place thing) we played golf. teehee, watching my sister struggle with her stubby limbs and playing 'try and hit Gilbutt in the ass' was very entertaining. We went to the little cafeteria-like place and enjoyed $5.50 hot chips and 250mL fant for $3. What a RIP D:<
At the house place, I drank the free complimentary tea and milk, watched George of the Junle 2, a gay documentary called 'The Family' until it pissed me off and raced in Burnout, and played Monopoly. After dinner I frolicked on the golf course with my brother amongst the super strong sprinklers :)
Then I watched Mr Deeds and Anger Management. Which are very funny :D
Note: Miss Shamas looks like Jennifer Aniston and my sister doesn't know what ankles are
SLEEEEEP -
day two
Woke up ZUPERLY DUPERLY early to enjoy the FREE buffet breakfast served up especially for us.There was bacon, eggs, hash browns, grilled tomatoes, sausages and mushrooms. There was also these crunchy fruit pastry things. Apparently according to my sister they have them at Japan hotels and she taught me how to smuggle them so we can take it for a snack later on in the day. But I'm not telling you how because it's a secret :P
Back at our house/cabin/motel place or whatever I went to sleep until some supposed 'Housekeeper' came at like 10 and gave us FREE STUFF. Like towels, toilet paper, free milk. I also poured juice into those ice cube moulds and put it into the fridge.
After lunch we played Big 2, Texas Hold Em and the REAL poker but using Monopoly money. We should've used real money because at the end I was the only one NOT bankrupt proud
After my dad asked me to promise I wouldn't go to a gambling place and gamble with REAL money, we went to Video Ezy and borrowed Hancock, Dark Knight, Mummy and Mummy returns which we eventually watched. and Hancock has the GAYEST ending EVER D:<<<<
Anyways while watching Dark Knight for the scond time, I realised that some things are quite dodgy. For example how come Batman gets SHOT and still manages to run away. That black guy that chucks out the bomb thing out quote 'let me do what you should've done 10 minutes ago' end quote is SO cool :D and when God TOTALLY owns that fat little snitch (:<
SLEEP actually I couldn't really sleep because I had 'Kungfu fighting stuck in my head all night ):<
day three
Breakfast. Shower. Fair amount of Burnout. my FIRST TIME ON A GOLF CAR THAT'S ACTUALLY MOVING D:
The seats are so luxurious. It's like leather and plush. I drove 1 metre before my mum realised and told me to stop. SO I have officially drive! :D
We drove to Anna Bay to go sand sliding. What you do is pay friggin' $17 for each person, go on a red bus and drive to some massive sand hill and slide down it on a sleigh thing. Sounds like fun BUT dun dun duuuuun, it ISN'T D:
It was so friggin' hot that my feet weere LITERALLY cooking in the sand and were like fully red. Just walking in the sand was frigging PAINFUL! which I'll emphasise by making the font massive. I only went twice seeing as after every turn you had to hike through burning sand, under the burning sun in the burning weather back to the top to once again get burnt.
SO I advise you to NOT go unless you are very very very fit (even fitter than me D:) very very very tolerant of hotness (so anyone who hangs with me ;D) and very very very stupid (clay)
Teehee earlier on that day when trying to use the phone they provide us we didn't know how and then my dad came along and was like 'press 9' so we did and we asked him why. So he handed us some paper that said 'EMERGENCY PROCEDURE If you hear the smoke alarm, or if you become aware of a fire ....' We were like 'AAAH' and spazzed before putting the phone back. I hope they didn't realise :D
Lately my brother has been having many testipops so we call him Gilbutt Morris. Why you ask? because my old had a Mr Morris who still had testipops very often even after 50 years. Although that is very slack of us, it's true. Sorry Mr Morris. Starting from Day Three we started a testipop counter but there were so many I lost count.
Note: Never ever never make grape juice ice cubes. They taste like ****.
Went woolworths and trolley frifted at Salamander Bay Shopping Centre which is so pitiful compared to Parra. There was some chips shop called Henny Penny's Food ;D
BUT I was so relieved when I saw a Jay Jays. At Kmart I bought a Spongebob bucket, spade and bouncy ball (those cool ones that go ting ting when you bounce them) for a 'late' birhtday present at a bargain of $6.49. We also bought Simpsons Movie and the Inside Man and borrowed John Tucker Must Die.
Watched thousands of movies and the Rich List. The host dude, Andrew O'Keefe is so annoyingly gay.
SLEEP
day four
Nothing different happened so I thought I'd talk about slash mock the place at which we stayed.
Firstly, the technology is very gay like clay. The television is as big as my computer screen except more square. One of the stove mat things doesn't even work. The radios they have are very dodgy and the alarm clocks are 15 and 30 minutes off. Speaking of clocks, in the kitchen you can see the outline of a clock that used to be there. All that is left is a circle of lightly coloured wall and a nail in the wall. Speaking of things missing, the wall in our bedrooms were missing a painting, a few lamps missing globes, lids left behind but no pans, a table and no chairs. However, the Housekeeper dude replaced most of this when my demanding parents demanded for it.
Teehee, my little sister called my dad a hypocrite and he was like 'what's a hypocrap?'
We made jelly and being the stingy people we are, we tried making it with more water than is recommended and it turned out as jelly with chips of ice embedded every millimetre or so. Went to some family friends' place, played Simpsons Monopoly which instead of money it usess CREDIT CARDS which you deposit/withdraw money by stuffing it into some cool electronic sage thing D: D: D:
Earlier that day we bought Tekken 4 and Crash Tag Team Racing so we played those too. These little kids went crazy button mashing. I also drank some PINK Vodka cruiser D:
It tasted like a soft drink, so yummy. My parents reckon I'll become an alcoholic at a stage in my life but I believe that I have PLENTY self control D:<
SLEEP
day five
Was sooo hot we stayed inside all day Tekkening and Tag Teaming. HAHA the temperature there was 10 degrees lower than in Sydney. Poor suckers.
Watched all these random movies from my dad's friends pirated-movies-player thing.
I think I'm finally turning into a man I had 3 testipops today D:
I'm a REAL man ;D
P.S. I accidentally snapped the ice cube mould in half using my sper strength. I was trying to get out the Multi V Juice ice cubes I made, which were note: a massive improvement from thefesty grape juice cubes. I hope the people don't mind/notice :D
SLEEP
day six
Wake. Eat. Play. Decided to go to Tea Gardens. By ferry.
Before you say WOAH TEA GARDENS! I bet it's super pretty with cool patterns made out of tea leaves or tea trees or tea, don't because it's just a crappyass hole-y suburb name. Took a WHOLE hour by ferry. On the ferry ride my brother and I were bored so we started quoting Chuck Norris quotes ;D
My favourite one so far: Once Chuck Norris swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. He blinked ;D
Another good one is Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird ;D
Anywhom, at Tea Garden, we went to a Chinese restaurant that didn't even have ONE Asian worker there. NONE D:
Instead there was two white females, a teen and a grandma.
This little guy called Jun (VERY high maintenance) deleted my brother's Citybloxx city and my brother was very pissed whilst I was busy laughing at him but karma came back and kicked me in the ass and where it hurts most D: Because my Spongebob Squarepants ball that I got earlier was kicked out to sea and never to be seen again... ACTUALLY we saw it again on the ferry trip back to civilisation and we watched it float further and further and further and further away.
WE SAW DOLPHINS D: D: D:
They did cool tricks and stuff. I tried taking photos of them while they were in the air but I kept on getting gay photos of vast vast water with a tiny portion of a fin amongst foamy water D:<
HOWEVER my brother got a pretty pro photo D:
Back 'home' I saw KANGAROOS D: D: D:
As I mentioned earlier these little halfie babies were with us all day and came to play the cool Simpsons Monopoly again.
Anyways Jun's dad told the youngest and very cute although very demanding halfie, Molly, 'I love you.' This made her bawl her eyes out and she cried until she fell asleep. Jun's father however drowned his rejected sorrow with some CROWN beer ;D
Day six was the second last day at Horizons and we had to wake up early on Day Seven so we could pack and vacate our house by 10am so it meant we had to sleep early. But that didn't stop us as we partied and frolicked all night long.
SLEEP
day seven
Drove home. On the trip home we had a party FUN size pack of lollies. My mum regretted giving them to us after we went super HIGH on the sugar ;D
I can't believe I haven't used the internet for the past week. I think I have superhuman powers D:
Labels: i'm a real MAN :D
